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Maddox
George Ouzounian (also known as Furious George, The $30,000 Man, and He Who Shall Not Be Funny) is an author, former humorist and former host of The Biggest Problem in the Universe. His career began in 1997 with the creation of The Best Page in the Universe, a personal blog and entertainment website. Though he made a handful of television appearances and published three books to limited acclaim, Maddox's final and most notable venture was The Biggest Problem in the Universe, a podcast he hosted alongside dangerous Dick Masterson and sassy Sean Jacobson from 2014 to 2016. He currently administrates Madcast Media Network and hosts The Best Debate in the Universe and Godzilla Versus Podcast 0. As of April, 2019 he has ditched the "Maddox" moniker however still uses it on social media. His Kiwi Farms thread is found here. ''The Best Page in the Universe'' ''(1997) Debuting in 1997, ''The Best Page in the Universe was a satire website Maddox developed as a vehicle to share his quirky and bombastic observations on life. Sparsely designed, the site functioned as a blog and featured the tagline: "This page is about me and why everything I like is great." The content of the page seldom differed from short, spontaneous rants with such notable blog entries as "The big list of things that suck," and "I HATE Celine Dion." Other topics included blockbuster films that failed to meet Maddox's standards, ill interactions with the public, hate mail, and Maddox's disdain for mimes. "The Best Page in the Universe is a website on which Maddox, who is no spring chicken; spouts his predictable, angry middle-aged-man rants on just about everything." -Penn Jillete More diverse coverage explored the 2000 presidential election and proper restroom etiquette. In episode 1 of The Biggest Problem in the Universe, Dick Masterson considers Maddox the, "first internet satirist," and, "the guy who made rants cool." Elsewhere on the site were Maddox's artistic outlets such as MS paint drawings, photography, videos and a self-insert comic that portrayed Maddox as a manly swashbuckler. ''The Alphabet of Manliness (2006) In 2006 Maddox published ''The Alphabet of Manliness, a satirical self-help-style manual aimed at bettering men's performance in social climates. The book is dedicated to Maddox himself, opening with: "To the love of my life, my soul mate, and the greatest person in the world: Me." Topics are arranged alphabetically starting with A'ss-Kicking, '''B'oners, and 'C'opping a Feel, and later exploring such concepts as Beef 'J'erky, 'L'umberjacks, and 'Y'elling. The book debuted as the #4 New York Times Bestseller for 10 weeks. Lousy with hyperbole and non sequitur, Alphabet bridges hyper-masculine imprudence with sex humor and tangential nonsense. It was funny, insightful, outrageous, and an honest reflection of the minds of college-age youth. Following the success of Alphabet that Maddox published The Best Comic in the Universe and hosted book signings where he adorned himself in a crown and robe. So too did he move to The City of Failure. In 2016 Maddox announced via Facebook that he had disowned Alphabet, calling it outdated and no-longer aligning to his views. Madcucks offered to rewrite the book under a more socially-acceptable climate with such topics as 'A'sking for Consent, 'B'oners, and 'C'rying. Maddox / The Best Show in the Universe (2007) Maddox's YouTube debut was a video uploaded on the 3rd of March entitled "Mac morons can't talk without using their hands." and showed advertisements for the iMac computer wherein satisfied customers use somewhat excessive gesticulations. On 28th July, 2010 Maddox released "The Best Show in the Universe - Episode 01 - YouTube Kids" which was akin to a Best Page article in video format - with Maddox standing in front of an animated background ranting over a given topic. The series received several installments over the next nine years and the Maddox channel later hosted episodes of The Biggest Problem in the Universe - LIVE where Maddox and co-host Dick Masterson performed before a live studio audience. ''Manformation (2010)'' Maddox met Dr. Phil whistle-blower and famed Mexican Dick Masterson sometime around 2006 when the two worked together at UCB Theater in Los Angeles, a comedy club that showcased local talent. This was also where Maddox met much of the future Biggest Problem guests such as Asterios Kokkinos. Dick and Maddox regularly performed at improv events hosted by the theater and in 2008, inspired by both men's style of "manly man" humor, unsuccessfully pitched Man Show to executives at an unnamed network. They returned in 2010 alongside Thom Beers (the man behind Deadliest Catch and 1000 Ways to Die) successfully pitching Manformation; a late-night talk comedy show starring Dick and Maddox to be aired on Spike TV. “Manformation” aims to showcase everyday guys who have had extraordinary experiences, such as the convenience store clerk who fought off a robbery attempt or a stock broker who left Wall Street for a hitch in the military." ''-Variety'' The show never reached the pilot phase and all records of its existence come from outside sources. It was around this time that Alphabet was given a special expanded edition. Dick and Maddox later attempted to spearhead a seventh season of Adam Carolla's The Man Show but this also fell-through. The Hard Way (2010) In 2010 Maddox and Dick joined FOX Animation's Inkubation program, a startup project aimed at arming cartoonists with the resources to pitch and develop their own animated series. The Hard Way centered around the eponymous character Maddox and his roommate Greg (voiced by Dick) and was animated by Titmouse, Inc. The show featured the vocal talents of Brian Posehn, Jody Schaeffer and Lillian Bowden. Three short sketches were directed by Jody Schaeffer featuring music by Dick and Sean. One infamous addition to the show's soundtrack was I am the Greatest Man in the World, a song performed by Maddox's character. The demos of which appeared on The Dick Show episode 144 where Maddox flexed his nonexistent singing abilities. Complications in the studio resulted in Maddox's character being voiced by director Jody Schaeffer. The Hard Way was pitched to FOX in a wooden crate filled with DVD's but never received funding. I Am Better Than Your Kids (2011) Maddox's double dip into the salsa of literature came in the form of I Am Better Than Your Kids, a book based on a 1997 Best Page article of the same name. Maddox was inspired by an article written by Lowtax of Something Awful. After writing a version on his site he threatened to have the original removed. The book features a plethora of drawings from children Maddox gathered in order to "roast," the book has 158 five-star reviews on Amazon, some declaring the book a suitable bathroom read. The book was revised in 2012 as Crappy Children's Art. The Biggest Problem in the Universe (2014-2016) The first episode of The Biggest Problem in the Universe aired on 20th May, 2014 starring Maddox and Dick Masterson featuring Sean the Audio Engineer. The show's premise was debate-style, where Dick and Maddox would each bring in a problem and argue over which was the biggest in the universe. Listeners would then vote for their chosen problem on the BPU website. The host whose argument garnered the most votes would go for a victory lap at the start of each subsequent episode. The show was a hit and cemented both Dick and Maddox as pillars in the field of professional comedy podcasting. So too was also the first piece of "raw" media for Maddox, as it was his first entertainment venture that was not text-based nor rehearsed. "I'm Dick Masterson and the biggest problem in the universe is you Maddox." ''-The Biggest Problem in the Universe ''episode 1 The hosts' clash in politics, style, approach and personality spawned some of the show's greatest content, yet so too did it yield the show's eventual climax. Dick Masterson's approach was comedic - running a comedy podcast with no real standpoints and no real hostility. Maddox, on the other hand, slowly grew to take on an argumentative stance; intent on solving the issues he brought up. Thus the topics and their subsequent tiffs grew intense beyond what was actually funny. The show ran from May 2014 to May 2016 and featured 106 regular episodes, 18 bonus episodes (also known as "solutions") and 1 epilogue episode (episode 107) which aired on May 31st, 2016. The show ended abruptly sometime after May 24th due to ongoing personal and artistic differences between the hosts. However, as time went on and those involved with the show grew further apart, more details emerged surrounding the schism of Dick, Maddox, and Sean, eventually spiraling into the greatest goss in the universe. ''The Best Debate in the Universe (2016-2019)'' On June 7th, 2016 Maddox released the first episode of The Best Debate in the Universe, a podcast where two relevant topics are debated over by none other than Maddox, who represents both sides of the argument. Early episodes were done solo but over time Maddox enlisted the help of Sean, Ron Babcock, Rod Kim, Vince Cerino and Myspace musician Rucka Rucka Ali. Sean was relieved of his duties at BPU in January 2017 when he refused to quit his position as co-host of The Dick Show. On the 27th of June, 2019 Maddox announced via livestream that Best Debate was permanently closing. Maddox vs. The Universe (2017) In February Maddox teased the release of his first bonus episodes shortly before releasing a comedy album on iTunes called Maddox vs. The Universe. Composed of three tracks recorded with Sean during the BPU era, the album was marginally successful and reached the #4 slot on iTunes comedy. Inspired by the record's success, Asterios Kokkinos and Madcucks wrote the hugely more popular albums Cucksmas Carols and Madcucks Vs Existence respectively. Godzilla Vs. Podcast 0 (2019-) On April 19th, 2019 Madcast Media debuted Godzilla Vs, a podcast hosted by Maddox (going by George) and Haley Mancini. The show describes itself as a comedy podcast about all things Godzilla, including the Japanese Kaiju and Astromonster cannons. 'The Dick Feud ' Conflict between Dick and Maddox was not unusual during the heyday of Biggest Problem. The perspective divide between them had worn thin, and it was, on an increasing number of occasions, plain to see the erosion of their professional relationship. Dick later expressed that he and Maddox simply weren't friends outside of BPU. On the 3rd of November, 2015, episode 77 of BPU aired featuring special guest Asterios Kokkinos. Maddox mentioned in the intro that Dick couldn't make it to the recording. Following the events of The Red Wedding Dick and Maddox would not see each other for another 2 years. On episode 155 of The Dick Show, Coach juggled the possibility of having Maddox call in to the show to celebrate the 5 year anniversary of The Biggest Problem in the Universe. Dick doubted that Maddox would do so but remained open to the possibility of him calling in in the future, saying; "Maddox is still today as funny as he was on day one of the old show - for exactly the same reasons. I think he is emotionally disabled yet slightly more intelligent than the average person and that his childhood has not prepared him to cope with life - and that I had an infinity of advantages over him when it came to our upbringings. And I was fine trying to help him for so long but it wasn't until he actively tried to fuck me over that it became a project to put him down so that I could survive - so that everyone who relies on me can survive. I don't necessarily hold anything negative against him, he's just fucked. He's always been fucked. If he wanted to call in and work things out I would help him try to get back in the good graces of the world. I would pay him to do a bonus episode every month! I mean, I'm not gonna be his best friend but there's something wrong with him - he has a lot to answer for." Dick Show lawyer Kian Magaña later offered Maddox $290 to call in by the end of the day. Speaking of which, on June 3rd 2019 Dick purchased a court-ordered debt owed by Maddox to Asterios Kokkinos in the amount of $290. Upon acquiring his "priceless art," Dick repeatedly screamed "bitch better have my money," and declared himself '''The Twenty Million Two Hundred and Ninety Dollar Man. On August 6th, 2019 Maddox Tweeted the following: "A bunch of losers put a girl I was dating on a "rape list" on 8chan. One of the shooters in Dayton also maintained a rape list and 8chan is where these shooters posted their threats. I wonder what @Patreon thinks about users on their platform supporting threats like this?" 'Two additional tweets were aimed at Patreon CEO Jack Conte referencing a "user" who allegedly maintained an 8chan rape list. A fourth tweet was directed at Alexis Ohanian, executive chair at Reddit, and a fifth at Katie Wedell, a journalist covering the Dayton Ohio shooting. Maddox was active in the replies, blocking those who questioned him and shooting down anyone trying to give valid criticism. The first series of tweets didn't name the user in question by the afternoon of August 7th nearly every tweet contained Dick Masterson's real name. The meltdown was justified by Facebook comments Maddox made claiming that he wants to sever his connection to the Dick Show community to protect himself from "harassment, doxing and threats." Dickheads from the subreddit compiled a gallery of Maddox's meltdown here. As this is an ongoing episode the editor is considering writing a page to document the meltdown. '''The LOLsuit In November of 2017 Maddox sued Dick Masterson, Asterios Kokkinos, Madcucks, Patreon, and a host of individuals linked to Dick and Asterios' professional relationships. The suit was a legal abortion. Maddox's claims were thrown out due to no jurisdiction because they were filed in the wrong state, and nobody, not even the plaintiff, could properly define why the case was ordered at all. Two sets of counter-sanctions from Asterios' group were ordered in California but nothing became of them. Maddox's lawyer declared that he would re-plea in a Los Angeles court but this was never done due to the fact that Maddox failed to pay Landau. When the second sanctions battle returned to court Landau went alone to settle a beef against Asterios' lawyer Jordan Greenburger. Landau managed to get Maddox's sanctions tossed but so too nullified Asterios' counter-sanctions. 'The Asterios Feud' Shortly after the dissolution of BPU, Asterios made it clear to Maddox that he would continue to work with both him and Dick on their own future ventures. In September 2016 a redditor posted screenshots of private messages between Asterios, Maddox and Metal Jess in an attempt to pit Asterios against Dick, it didn't work. Asterios' employer Weber Shandwick was contacted in February 2017 by an anonymous person exposing Asterios as an online stalker, that didn't work either. After Dick and the other defendants were dismissed from the LOLsuit, Maddox failed to move forward with his case against Asterios Kokkinos, the only entity in the case who had jurisdiction in the State of New York. Maddox's case suddenly fell into limbo when he stopped paying Kevin Landau which came at the same time as Asterios' sanctions against Maddox. The sanctions, and the case as a whole, can no longer move forward due to Landau having turned on Maddox over lost fees. Unfortunately, it is very likely that neither Asterios nor Landau will see a cent from the Mad Cuck any time soon. The battle between Asterios and Maddox was covered by VICE in January 2019. The Metal Jess Feud On April 3rd, 2019 Metal Jess went public with her denouncement of Maddox and his brand; calling off their four-year relationship and accusing Maddox of attempting to cheat with other women. This should come as a surprise to no one considering his prior advocacy for cuckoldry and attempted polyamory. Maddox's course of action and future prospects remains unknown. In July 2019 Dick Show host Vito Gesualdi contacted Metal Jess on the eve of her wedding to offer congratulations and inquire on her relationship with Maddox. Jess was reciprocative and surprisingly open, and hinted at the possibility of her calling in to the show though talks did not continue after that point. 'The Everyone Feud / Maddox vs. The Universe' In early August of 2017 a Dickhead / BPU fan called in to the Best Debate voicemail line. Slightly imbibed and very upset, he proceeded to grill Maddox for disavowing his content and forsaking his community in order to gain social justice brownie points. The following day he received a text message from a man identifying himself as George who left a lengthy rebuttal to the voicemail. The two held a back-and-forth for four days before screenshots of the conversation were posted to r/TheDickShow. The next morning he was phoned by 'Sgt. Peterson from the Indiana State Police' who claimed to have received harassment complaints but offered little explanation outside of that. Peterson could not name the nature of the harassment nor the individual who made the complaint. Dick Masterson theorized that Maddox either had someone call the Indiana State Police to file the complaint or had someone pretend to be a police officer however Dick Show lawyer Kian Magaña assured him that the call was real because filing impersonating a police officer is far more illegal than filing a false police report. In February 2017 Maddox got in contact with Dick Show composer extraordinaire Waut3rboi where he expressed his animosity against Dick, Sean, Asterios and everyone else in the Biggest Problem community (including his own fans) who never gave him a chance and who, "owe me gratitude for all the years of free content at my expense." This interaction, once published to the Dick Show community, became known as WAUT3RGATE - and provided an affirming insight into the mentality of the Mad Cuck. In early 2017 Madcucks was watching Maddox stream on YouTube. Sometime during the stream he opened up Google Maps and it could be seen that he had recently searched for colleges and addresses in the Tulsa, Oklahoma area. This was alarming to Madcucks, who lived in Tulsa, and expressed concerns on The Dick Show that Maddox was preparing to doxx him. These fears were realized when Madcucks was named as a defendant in the LOLsuit. It was this event and subsequent harassment from Maddox that led to Madcucks' retirement. Maddox's 2018 appearance on The Drunken Peasants'' Podcast'' was an average run-of-the-mill interview until news came to light that Maddox submitted a list of banned words that the hosts were not allowed to say. "Cuck" was one, obviously. So was "D1CKM45T3R50N" which is either a nuclear launch code or some kind of Armenian voodoo spell. '''Trivia * Maddox sleeps with a bedspread that has the face of the Blue Slime enemy from Dragon Quest plastered on it. * Maddox cancelled his trip to Vidcon in 2019 when he was informed by YouTuber Chris Ray Gun that Dick Masterson would be attending the after-party. Dick and Chris met at said party and Chris made a guest appearance on The Dick Show the following week. * Maddox has collaborated with several other online personalities including but not limited to Boogie2988 and Guru Larry though the former has since dropped contact after discovering The LOLsuit. * Despite their strained relationship, Dick has maintained that Maddox is welcome to join The Dick Show any time. * Maddox streams on Twitch relatively often and can usually be observed playing in Blender. * Dick and Sean have expressed that Maddox used to carry two wallets, one being a decoy, to prevent his credit cards from being stolen during a mugging. This tactic was explored in his earthquake video. * Since it's inception in February 2019 Maddox's Dickipedia page has reigned as the most popular and lengthiest page on the site, the editor thanks you for your continued interest in our bald Armenian friend.